Resilience Series Posted by Nicola Maxwell

It’s the worst thing in the world when as a parent you make a promise to your kids that you can’t keep. To look into the beady eyes of a disappointed child whose faith in you has taken a temporary but nonetheless gut-wrenching nose dive is devastating to say the least.

Keeping promises is something we are taught to honour, and rightly so. When we break promises it weakens our faith, trust and belief in others – and nobody wants to be responsible for broken pledges, hollow assurances and shattered childhood dreams.

Why is it then that we tend to be quite relaxed about breaking the promises we make to ourselves?

There are the ‘start’ promises: I’ll start exercising, meditating, dieting…
There are the ‘stop’ promises: I’ll stop smoking, eating chocolate, drinking, shouting at the kids, arguing with my brother…
The ‘life’ promises: I’ll be kinder, more patient, more assertive, stronger, less stressed, come home earlier from work, spend more time with my family, be happier…

We make a lot of promises to ourselves, and 99% of those we break almost immediately as if it doesn’t really matter.

But it does matter. Every time we make a promise to ourselves and don’t follow through, we are letting ourselves down, lowering our expectations and confirming the belief that we are not the kind of person who has the strength, stamina or discipline to fulfil a goal. All of which, by the way, make us feel pretty miserable and down on ourselves.

The more promises you make to yourself and break, the worse you end up feeling about yourself. So for 2013, stop making flippant and frequent promises and start setting just one small goal at the time. Make it your goal to become happier, step by step, little by little, smile by smile.

Over the past 3 weeks you have been given the key tools you need to develop and sustain happiness. All you need to do now is decide whether you are going to use those tools and experience the benefits.

There is no magic pill but you do have the practical tools now, all of which are easy to use and take only a little effort. Don’t make half-hearted promises, think about it and decide.

At edoMidas, we’d love to hear how you get on with your happiness tools. Please connect with us and share your questions, stories and experiences.

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